A Myriad Life

My sister is getting married. Sunday. No, not Heather...Krystina. So much to say about that. But in order to write about it I would have to think about it. And I don't want to think about it right now.

I have read two statements in the past week that I have really identified with:

1. "I don't doubt God. I doubt myself." I don't doubt that God has a plan; I don't doubt that He will use my circumstances (good or bad) to accomplish His plan. I do sometimes doubt my ability to catch God's vision. Some days I doubt I have the strength and fortitude to carry what He has asked of me. I don't doubt God. I doubt myself.

2. "I am tired of living in a constant state of transition." That about sums it up.

Overall, I had a good holiday. Work was a madhouse - but I fully expected that. It was nice to see my Dad. We all stayed together at Heather and Mike's house in Dayton. It was nice to get out of my apartment for a few days. I slept on the pull out bed with Heather, her Yorkie Jake, and her dachshund Daisy (quite possibly the cutest dogs ever). They like to sleep under the covers and right up next to you. Friday night they both slept right on top of me. Not all that comfortable...but they are so cute that I didn't have the heart to move them. On Christmas Day Dad cooked a huge turkey dinner with all the trimmings. It was delicious. I ate way too much. But I am pretty sure that is standard protocol during the holidays.

I am anticipating that January is going to be a good month. Three of my favorite authors have books due out and Avalon's new CD "Stand" is due to be released. I received a gift card to Borders for Christmas, but I am saving it so I can purchase these things. If I can wait that long it is...we'll see how that goes.

If 2006 goes as quickly as 2005 did, I am going to need some sort of life-seatbelt. Do they make those? I should patent one. I could make a bundle...

Extravagant Love

God has been trying to teach me something that until today I have been too dense to recognize. The last few months have been a very difficult season - difficult personally and professionally. I believe that God has a myriad of lessons for me to learn from my present circumstances. But today I feel like one sunk in. It was as if I heard Him say to me, "Child, my love is extravagant." In the past two days I have received 2 very unexpected, very expensive gifts. Both were huge blessings. Both were extravagant. Both were hard for me to receive.

But this afternoon as I was sitting in the soundbooth, crying over what I had just been given, I heard- or rather felt it..."Child, my love is extravagant." I don't think that these people gave me these gifts to teach me that God's love is extravagant. They gave them to me because they love me. But I also know that God is not a God who wastes opportunities. He used the earthly extravagant love I had just been a part of to teach me something of Himself. His love is extravagant. Amazing.

Confessions

I must confess that I absolutely love Gary Sinise. It is the main reason I watch CSI: NY, and it is the reason I recently watched a cheesy Hallmark Christmas movie that he starred in. The movie was pretty dull. Gary Sinise was not.

I'm not sure why I love watching him so much. It isn't like he is as attractive as other actors, or has starred in as many blockbuster films. But perhaps that is why I like him so much. That, and he just looks like he is a nice guy. He gives off this vibe that says, "I'm someone's champion." I hope to never find out that he is a jerk.